unwrapping a gift early

I thought that I would update pictures to both blogs and share a sneak peak of the christmas cards we had made with Kenz and the boys.

We did a somewhat impromptu photo shoot in the living room one afternoon. Nothing professional as you will see, just the family camera, very patient dogs and a baby.
We had our cards made online, so the actual card looks professional, with fun family style pics.

This gives you an idea of what sorts of shots we got. The final card is a collage of a bunch of the best.


Kenz in her 'my first Christmas' shirt. We added in some balls and a sled we use as an outside decoration to finish the look.


This one is a fav and I feel as though Edward was drawing some inspiration from the Grinch whole stole Christmas. Drake was a bit of a stick in the mud that day, so he lent his santa coat to Kenz for the pic. It is good when the kids are the same size in holiday costumes for photo opportunities.




This last picture is perhaps where Edward threw in the towel. Once Kenz knew the coat would fit, she was going to test out the antlers as well.

oi the pain

The babe is teething, which I feel she has been doing for MONTHS, literally months of swollen gums, chewing, drooling and crank, but white teeth have finally erupted through the gums. I use the word teeth as she is teething top and bottom at the same time. Her top right and bottom left are both poking through (which will make for a cute monster style smile) and her partnered top and bottom teeth are so close. She has swollen gums and bumps in those spaces with ripping tissue. I imagine kids handle teething all in their own ways, and true to form, my girl is handling it in the most dramatic fashion possible. I am giving her some slack as 2-4 teeth all at once is probably a bit much and more than likely super painful. I would go as far as saying sleep is being interrupted by this process, but I am far to realistic that she never sleeps to imagine this is the cause.

we have a christmas party tomorrow......and I can't take her as she is for too long.....but this may be a blessing in disguise.

cruising

The girl has started to cruise - I think this is what savvy parents call it. What she has really started doing, is what proud parents call walking. Sure she has to hang onto the play pen sides for support, but her legs are doing the moving. I am almost certain that rehab patients who learn to 'walk' again and use the bars for support are still considered walking.....so the proud parent will consider this walking.

She is able to go from one side of the playpen to the other at this time. She still can't master the 'let go and get down' part, but she is working on it I am sure. Bending your knees seems to be one of the last skills she is going to have. I have been placing soft stuffies behind her for the fall to your bottom moments that happen when she finally lets go of the sides.

Yesterday, on a rainy Sunday afternoon she had another big girl moment.....she went for a nap without me. It stings! We were having a movie day with tons of blankets and pillows on the living room floor and she feel asleep with papa while watching a movie. I should be grateful he has the patience to make it through the cries, and attempts to find mom before falling asleep.

unheld yoga pose

mommy and me yoga took a new turn this week. today was the first class we had been to since Kenz was actively on the move, and boy was she ever today. our regular classes had her sitting beside me on a blanket, playing with toys, snacking and wandering about a foot away when not crawling on me. today she was off to explore and on the move the entire time. she was on everyone's mat, 'borrowing' toys without asking, chasing the other moving babies and still climbing on me. it is near impossible to get a good pose when you are always watching the baby crawl somewhere, and then running to grab her before she smacks a sleeping kid, or gets hit by a mother not seeing her on their mat. I hit a full sprint mid pose a few times today. she may be getting to an age where yoga doesn't work anymore....which will be sad. I was out of classes at then end of today and bought the 5 class package again, in hopes it works out for 5 more weeks.

all you can do is build it

We bought a second car seat last night which came in a big box. I immediately knew I needed to make a fort for the babes out of this. It is not the first big box to come through these doors in the last short while and I am kicking myself for throwing out the last one - it was an awesome one.

I taped it shut again to make it a sealed unit and started to cut a door in one side. I was pretty pumped about the image in my head and how it would turn out. On the front side, I cut a door that has a small handle cut out and a window. On the right I made a doggy door and then additional windows on the back and left.

In my head it is super awesome. In reality none of the cuts line up all that well and it looks like a kindergarten student hacked it with safety scissors. I suppose it is rustic. Regardless, I made what I thought was a cool fort/house/castle for the wee girl.

The baby is fascinated with crawling under tables, through the ironing board, over toys and exploring in general. I really thought she would be pumped to crawl through this little space, in through the door and out through the doggy door. I thought the windows would be a cool spot to play peek a boo with her.....but alas she finds it icky. She had no desire to venture in and a strong desire to get out when placed in there by a needy mom.

The sunny side to the story is that the dog loves it. He ran in through the front door and back out through the doggy door. He took a few toys in and lay down inside. I suppose that one small being getting joy from it was the intention of making it, so the day was a success.

timeline and to do's

I have set a fake time line in my head that attaches some parental to do's to it.
My babe is growing up and I am starting to see the return to work on the horizon. It is still 4 months away and that is a significant amount of time, but I am sensing the need to prepare. Is there never a moment to just enjoy babies? I feel like I am always prepping for the next step.

This preparation is more for me....I think. Currently, the situation is this: The baby is breastfed all the time and eats 3ish meals a day. She has refused a bottle, but is starting on a sippy cup. She feeds to sleep for naps and bedtime. As I will not be going to daycare with her, I need to find a way for her to nap without feeding to sleep and to take milk from a sippy if she needs it during the day.

At 9m babies are to have a transition in how they eat. Currently is is always milk offered first, then solids. This does a flip at 9m and she will begin eating more hopefully. My goals were to get her onto this new routine and then at 10m start to prep for daycare. That gives me 2 months to try a sippy cup before nap and just cuddles to sleep and to replace 1 or 2 feeds during the day with a snack. We are going to continue to breastfeed morning and night for a while after daycare starts.

At 11m I am hoping to start her at the daycare 1 day a week for the first week, then 2 days for week 2 and 3 and then 3 days for week 4. I think this transition is just for me as well. I guess it will help her adjust to their routine and how to 'survive' without me hovering over her.

I see the appeal of a SAHM on some levels. I am sure I will be happy to be back at work though too and into an adult life again. I know my bank account is pleading for me to go back early, but it will never win.

leaps and bounds

This has been a busy week, ol' 32.
I turned 32 last Monday 17th and Kenz 32 weeks on the weekend, Sunday the 23rd.

We are thinking that was are moment of birthday twiness since I am a fall baby and her a spring. We celebrated with the new McFlurry - no jokes - it happened.

The week was more busy than an ice cream treat though.....
Sunday 23rd - 32 weeks and the girl started to speak! No surprise that the first word was Mom and it was in English. I suppose she does spend 99.99% of her day with me.

Monday 24th - still on the mom high and the babe starts to crawl. Just a few steps (steps?), or crawls forward, but it was movement and it was videoed.

Tuesday 25th - more crawls and a pull up to standing while in her crib. Although this new skill is just as awesome as the rest, it was also the most scary. Until now, the crib was a safe spot while unsupervised. Now to baby proof that as well.

Wednesday 26th - road trip and shopping spree on baby proofing items. Still need to install those. We also went for a family swim this night and not a new thing for us, it was a great swim.

This takes us to today - Thursday.....what will today bring, and the rest of the week? I am honestly hoping to see those bottom teeth soon. All of these new skills are killing the sleep at this house. She tries them 24/7. Disrupted sleep, always eating, and intense focus on the next skill leaves us all really drained.....and excited for how big she is getting.

it's all good

A quick update on the baby is needed.....where do my days go?
I think I got so much more done when she was new and I was lost to this world of motherhood, than I do now.

Maid service? - yes please!

The girl is eating up a storm. I swear she may be a giant when she grows up. She is so much bigger than her little friends. I attribute that to the great mom milk I guess. She has been eating her way through the foods of the world and so far nothing has been a miss. She likes everything, including edamame dip with cilantro and ginger. I have been cautious with the foods though, as allergies run in my family, but looking forward to her 1 yr birthday when more can be introduced.

She still nurses all the time too.....before she really wakes up at 6am, to nap at 9am and again at 1pm nap, usually around 4pm and then at 7:30 to go to bed. Add in about 500 more throughout the night. They say solids make babies sleep through the night, I say 'they' are stupid. Between teething (no teeth yet, OMG, nothing), wanting to crawl, always, ALWAYS growing and her love for me, she never sleeps more than 3 hours at night. I think I must be too awesome to stay away from for more than 3 hours. that must be it - right?

wordless wednesday

oatmeal it is

Well solids have been started. Once a day, or once every other day we get a little into her and a lot on her. She likes to be in charge of the spoon and lacks all sorts of aim, so it goes a little messy. I spill a lot too and I have had loads of practice, so who am I to judge.

We tried some rice cereal....and had an allergic reaction. She broke out in a rash on her face. I thought it was the rice at first, but after checking into it more, I think it was the brand. Don't judge, but I used a sample. I was given a sample pack of heinz rice cereal and thought I might as well try it out. Apparently it had soy and milk byproduct in it. I already know she does not do well with milk. I will have to find an organic version or wait until she can handle thicker food and try plain brown rice.

I waited 4 days and tried oatmeal. Not wanting to go near the boxed stuff this time I ground my own oatmeal at home and made some. I added breast milk to thin it out and give it a familiar taste. She loved it. 4 days later we tried some banana added into the cereal. She was ok with it, but the love wasn't there. There was no mom milk this time (damn that pumping business) and she was tired, so it could have been an off day. We will try again this evening and see how it goes.

I have a list started on the white board on the fridge of her solids. Once we get about 10 things down we can get some fun mixing and matching going on. Monday is the start of another new food.....hmmmmmm.....what to pick?

solids

It has been a while....I think I took some summer holidays from blogging.

The days have been busy and yet I cannot think off hand what we do sometimes to fill them. I am constantly trying to stay one step ahead of the little girls growth so I am ready for her next moves. It is a job in itself to know all there is on the next stages in development.

I think we have decided to start solids this weekend. 6 months was my goal. She will be 24 weeks on the weekend, yet not officially 6 months until the 13th. I think she is ready though. She meets all the requirements for being ready for solids and is showing interest, so I guess we make the move. I haven't settled on a food yet, but perhaps it will be rice cereal or banana.

I am not sure I am ready for her to make this next move. I am seeing signs of being that parent who is afraid of their child growing up too quickly.

zen

I had a great extended weekend away. Even though it was a packed 5 days, it didn't fell like I was on the go the whole time. Each visit was good and the person(s) I was visiting really made the effort to make the visit relaxing. Kudos to you all!

I arrived back home in time for my 2nd baby yoga class. Ahhhhh....now this is the life! My baby is far from a little Buddha who is in her own zen place throughout the session, but I get to stretch, find some inner peace for 3 seconds at a time and see other moms with similar life styles. The instructor is also an awesome woman who I have easy adult conversation with. Even the parts of class where the baby is fussy or eating and I sit along the side of class or chill on my mat, I am still in a dimly lit room with tranquil music and other babies doing the exact same. I think this may be my splurge item while it lasts (the classes continue or the baby cooperates). A once a week moment that brings me some balance.

They also have a lunch class and my non mom side is already excited for when I go back to work to hit up that class on my own and have some real yoga time.

your own

I always find that you get along best with your own kind. This can mean a lot of things depending on the situation. I find I get a long best with my own friends, my own family and people who are like minded.....it makes sense as this is what I know or choose to surround myself with.

I went to a baby/mom yoga class yesterday and felt that I was with my own people there. They were all strangers, but I felt a kinship with them. They were a small group of moms who felt the need to socialize through yoga which I feel speaks for the type of person in itself. They were breastfeeding, baby wearing, cloth diapering mom for the most part, or in some part. I felt like I belonged and that i didn't have to justify even one of my choices with this group. It was really nice to feel normal, which has been tough to find lately. I have 3 more classes with this group before the studio determines if this will be an ongoing class. I left the class feeling like my old self...confident, in control, happy, and well stretched. I needed that moment like no other.

I also have a girls weekend coming up this weekend. It is with my family (cousins, aunts, extended family) and I generally find this side of the family to be in sync with my thoughts. Like all families, we are wacky and don't always mesh, but we do all make a strong effort to be supportive. Our weekend is usually filled with randomness and this is no exception. There are morning sessions of yoga on the beach planned (one aunt is an instructor), reflexology afternoons (2 aunts practice this), acupuncture (1 aunt has a doctorate in Chinese medicine), healthy food, good wine, taro cards (long story, but we all like to have a strong spiritual side outside of religion) and toasts to grandma. She has long since passed away, but she is always in the conversations. We all seem to hold her high in regard.
I know this weekend will be a rejuvenating experience, even if I do have the baby by myself for 5 days, out of routines, and getting more advice than I need, it will be good for the soul.

My soul took a huge kick last night and it is in need of repairs. My MIL out right knocked breastfeeding in front of me and made my choice the butt of her joke in the middle of a family dinner out at a restaurant. After all the issues that go on with her, she pushes me further away. I know it was a joke, but she chose to hit where it hurts. I didn't say anything...there is no point, and unfortunately I don't forget very easy, but hopefully I can get back some balance this weekend.

thankful to be done

I am thankful to be done thank you cards....at least for a week.

We have been really spoiled by so many people since we had Makenzie. I mean REALLY SPOILED!!! So much in fact, I have been writing thank you cards for 4 months now. Don't let me fool you, I have not spent every waking hour doing this (although it feels like it) but I have picked away at the pile for 4 months straight. I have one more gathering to go, then I am done. I have gone through 6 boxes of thank you cards, plus used some other note cards I had around. One cannot complain when you are being loved as much as we have been, but I will be happy when the card writing is over. I have wrote a personal message in each one and tried my best to make each note as thoughtful as the gifts sent to us. I really wanted to avoid the general card with a 'thank you' on the front and my signature on the back, but I do see the appeal.

I did joke the other day that all of the card writing was incentive enough to not have a second child. Perhaps any only children should ask their parents if they had a hefty card writing load after their birth, it may explain things.

the science of clean

cleaning has become a science in this house....beyond the fact everything is supposed to be sanitized prior to the baby touching it. The laundry alone has become the most complex system going. Prior to the baby, laundry was complex, now it is slightly unreal. There is no doubt that it could be simple, and it should be, but then where would my need for control shine through?
A breakdown for those who were begging to know....

Adults: we use one brand of laundry soap, different from the baby and the dogs (yes they have their own). Our soap is always perfume and scent free, usually a liquid, but sometimes a powder. We also have fabric softener and dryer sheets. There is bleach, colour safe bleach, and spot remover in the mix too, but that is everyone, right?

Baby: The baby has her own laundry soap, which is also free of everything, but also sensitive for baby skin, she also has a baby version of spot remover. Then we have another detergent for her diapers, which could be used for her clothes, and ours if we wanted, but it is $20 a bag and it is a tiny bag, so it is just for the diapers.

Dogs: The dogs have laundry soap as well. They have the cheapest crap we can find at the store. Usually scented, bright green for some reason and nothing we would ever use on our own clothes, but does wonders for stinky dog blankets. With 4 dog beds (all with their own bedding), blankets in each vehicle and 1 in gazebo, they have a lot of laundry too.....oh, and they both have great wardrobes in the off season.

Thankfully, my husband knows the system and does the lion's share of the laundry. The only thing he hasn't washed yet are the diapers, but what is one more detergent under the belt?

fussy days

this little girl has been a fuss pot lately. the moods come out of the blue and rage on like an unstoppable force. I feel like I read her better months ago when she couldn't tell me anything. The rain last week made the days feel long. Hopefully the sun will give us both a turn around this week.

She sure is yar

The baby has started boating. We have gone out twice so far, the first time being slightly more successful than the second. The first time we went out was on a sunday, and we were gone for about 4 hours. The boat has a big shade canopy, so we were able to hide out. We spent most of the stopped time in a small bay so she had some freedom. I think she preferred this. The second trip was up the river instead of on the lake. She had to wear her life jacket the whole time as we were moving and I don't think she is a huge fan of it. I guess it will take time for her to get used to it and eventually she won't even notice. The second trip out was in the evening so we were able to sit up front and not hide from the sun. She loved the wind in her baby hair and was screaming happy little yells and smiling the whole ride up river. The ride back she realized it was passed her bedtime, she was wearing a life jacket and it was essentially the same ride, so she cried most of the way back.
We are going to try our luck with number 3 today. This will also be the first boat ride we go on all by ourselves. The other rides we always had an extra set of hands to drop the bumpers and help dock. This time those will be my jobs on top of holding the baby.....solutions.....perhaps. I am going to take the bumbo chair out and put her in it as we get close to the dock. They she can sit on her own for a few minutes while I get us secured to the dock. If this solution works the next step will be to take the baby and dogs both out without extra hands on board.

big girl bed

The baby is sleeping in her own room, in her own bed. She mad the move 2 weeks ago. I think it has been 100% easier on her than me. She really doesn't care. I was good with things for the first few days, then I started a bad habit.....I sneak her back into bed with me about 5am. Not just at random, but she is up at that hour to feed and get changed, so I just bring her back to bed with me then. She would go back to her own bed, but I miss the cuddles with her. I also realized that back in her own room she waked up about 6:30/7am for the day. In our bed, she sleeps until almost 8am. More sleep, more cuddles and not letting her grow up too fast equals a winner for me. Who cares about the habits I am forming, look at the sweet bond I have instead!

ohhh the guilt

I have what I am assuming is 'mom guilt'.
The baby went down for a nap this morning.....a MUCH NEEDED nap. She has been a super crank this week with the 3 month growth spurt. She may wake up 10ft tall, but she needed the sleep. The mom guilt steps in when I also went down for a nap. I was probably a super crank too and needed some extra zzzz's. The real guilt starts here.....I woke up and she was still asleep. In fact, I had a whole hour to myself......what to do with this time? The trick though, is never knowing how much time you actually have. You could have 10 min. or you could have 1 hour. I took my time and got dressed, then I did some laundry folding, then I made a to do list instead of actually doing some of those jobs, then I went to check on her, then I blogged. In realty, I should be tackling the to do list(s) and not taking the hour for me time. I will regret it immensely when she is awake and I can't get those things done......but it feels so good to blog in silence, to get dressed slowly, to fold laundry with two hands. How do enjoy the quiet down time without the guilt of the to do list. damn those lists!

kids tell it how it is

An e-mail was sent to me with some funny lines from a grade 2 class. I thought they were worth sharing.

Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's mom like me.

What kind of a little girl was your mom?
1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess mom is, only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

vampires

I have decided that having a newish baby during the hot summer months is similar to having a vampire. I am now constantly seeking out activities that avoid all direct sunlight. Today is going to be a scorching hot one out there and I am hiding inside. I would normally be tending to gardens in some fashion (covered in a heavy SPF of course) but the baby cannot be out in this, so we are looking for indoor activities. A shady spot in the backyard will be available soon and then we can have some more outdoor time. I know her stroller/car seat combo has the ability to be full shade, but with a 10C in mugginess above an already hot temp., I feel bad strapping her into a hot little seat and then blocking all breeze to keep out all light.
Perhaps today is a good shopping day around town and then perhaps a good day to catch up on house stuff.

showers

I am having one of those super busy weeks which will blend into the busiest of weekends. OY!
Each day this week has a little something happening and the evenings have a lot of something going on, followed by a whirlwind trip to the family land for the weekend. Nothing like leaving Friday at 6pm to drive 5+ hours with a baby, arrive at my moms who will want to visit, beg for sleep, get up and drive another 1.5 hours to my aunts, baby shower for 3 hours, drive back to moms, then make room for a visit with dad before driving another 5+ hours after lunch. OY!
I also fear that this looong weekend is following a quick (8hours) 'there and back' trip to Ottawa on Thursday. sigh.

All of that....not even why I thought to blog.

I am heading south for a baby shower/meet and great the baby. I am excited and not. My aunt's are hosting this for me, and they are always so generous, but I always feel it is also so fake for me. I only speak with my one aunt normally, the other 2 I see at events like this. So it seems awkward at times. I also wanted this day for my friends to visit, which some are able to, but not about the gifts. The thing around a shower is that expectation, and I hate that part. My aunts go overboard, and I really mean overboard with showers. My mom is 20 years younger than them, so they have not had small people or weddings etc in a long time, so they spoil my brother and I for stuff like this (only me, as he has not done this yet). I appreciate how amazing they are, but I also feel the pressure for those who come and expect it to be a normal shower and then see how crazy 3 aunts can get.

I should just enjoy being spoiled and having everyone meet the baby. If nothing else, the food is always so amazing and the game of present jenga into my truck is a fun ending.

it is all in the wipe

Along with using cloth diapers, I am using cloth wipes. Researching cloth diapers prior to the babies arrival it became apparent that using cloth wipes would be the way to go for our family. I am already doing laundry, so what's a few more items. I had bought a bunch of cheap baby wash cloths that I thought would work......they suck and I often avoid them when they surface in the pile of wipes. I also bought more expensive fleece ones that have proven to be the best. The major difference between cloth wipes and disposable is that mine require wetness. In the beginning I was wetting them in the bathroom with warm water so diaper changes would be a little smoother for the baby, but now with warmer weather and her being a little older, she doesn't mind a cooler temp. I now have a spray bottle in her bedroom that I spray the cloth with to moisten it. I suppose regular water would work in the bottle, but I am cleaning a dirty butt, so some cleaning agent was going to be required. I googled recipes and decided upon the following:

Olive 'n' Tea Tree

A great natural wipes solution.
1/4 cup olive oil (extra virgin not necessary)
1/8 cup gentle baby bath
A few drops tea tree oil
4 cups water



I modified it slightly to use grape seed oil instead of olive oil. I use grape seed oil for her massage oil so I had a big bottle of it.



This site has many varieties of homemade wipe solutions if you are ever in the market to make your own. http://www.zany-zebra.com/cloth-wipe-solution.shtml

the start of a real person

The baby is finally having some real interaction with us. She is no longer just a food/poop factory. The past week she has really started to interact with the things around her. She is much more observant to her mobile and follows specific characters, she is *'playing' with a baby toy and is smiling when we make faces at her. What a nice stage to move into. I feel like those small steps are big rewards for the last 2 months when her only interactions were cries to communicate. Don't let me fool you, she still cries and more often than I would like, but she now also smiles.

We started to take some video to capture the moments....hopefully we will figure out how to upload them off the video camera so we can share them. There is no time in life right now for learning new things!

Looking forward to the long weekend. I have no grand plans and nothing I would consider fun based on my younger years, but I have an extra day of dad time and that is awesome!

social without the technology

I have become social without going through my computer.....well except to share this blog.

Having a baby is a great excuse to finally meet people, and I don't have to go alone. She is a small shield into the real world. Who would have thought you needed a baby to meet adults. Perhaps there should be a play group for those without kids to get out as well. I would have used it prior to now.

We have been the keen joiners at everything baby. Besides appointments we have been going out for lunches, finding moms to go for walks with, baby massage class, baby movie matinee (they play new movies for moms who can bring a baby), stroller class, play groups at the early years centre and finally we have hit up a breastfeeding support group.

We will now be running the circuit of going to 3 different towns to get our fill.

Yay social!

tactics in memory work

My memory is all about gone. I used to have an amazing one, and in some aspects I still do, but I lost it completely when it comes to the day to day activities. The one particular activity would be breastfeeding. I remember to do it and what time I last fed, for approximately how long, but I have no retention for the last breast used.

I was warned of this prior to giving birth and thought 'who can't remember something like that', easy enough to answer that now - ME. Not wanting to deny mothers before me and their infinite wisdom I bought a milk band. This is a rubber bracelet that you switch from left to right to remind yourself which breast is next. This device has a lot of potential if I had normal sized wrists. It just seems to turn itself over when I sleep or move my sleeves. It is also not very pretty.





I use it now and then but needed something better. I feed the baby 90% of the time in her bedroom in the rocking chair, so I devised a method for that room. When I feed her, I always use her nursing pillow, similar to the picture. I also always place a blanket down on the side she feeds from to capture spillage. So my great method became the practice of placing the blanket on the side I would feed next after I am finished. This works great at night. When I go into her room super tired and sit down, I just have to place her on the side with the cover. By the time she is done eating, I am awake enough to set myself up for the next feeding.



This method only works well if I feed in her room. The 10% I am not in there I am back to relying on memory.

Is there a better way out there?

just like a fish

This baby seems to be growing just like a fish. I have been under the understanding that fish grow to the size of their environment within reason. A fish in a small tank stays small, but in a bigger tank, gets bigger. An amazing process if true, even a little. My daughter seems to be doing the same. She is growing fast and running through her clothes at lightening speed. As she outgrows items, we have been putting her in the next size up. They seem huge on her at first, and the next thing we know she is too big for those as well. I feel like we should just keep her in the tiny clothes to keep her small instead of giving her the opportunity to grow to fit the next size.
Those cloth diaper bums may also add a few inches :)

We are into the 7th week, and she seems right on target developmentally. Babies learn a lot each week. Thankfully there are e-mails sent to me weekly to keep me on track. How did parents live before the internet?

She has been sleeping in her bassinet for the last week every night and each sleep. Nights are broken up into 2 - 3 small sleeps. Each one is a success if she sleeps in her bassinet. The plan is still to move her to her own room at 3 months and she needs to be a successful sleeper on her own for the move. I also need to get monitors for the move so we have some time.

My mom's side is hosting a baby shower/meet the baby this month. I find it hard to have a shower this late, but there are tons of things we avoided buying knowing her side would have this. I am excited for the meet the baby part. I am not excited for the long drive down and the crowded drive back. Weekends should have been 3 days from the start.

I like to think it is not me

I often like to think that it is not me when things are not well between people. If it is me, then I have to change to correct the issue, and I am not a fan of change. Therefore, I tend to think it is not me, but the other person, therefore the change can be on their end....and more importantly, things will be my way. It is a blissful rose coloured world I like to live in. To quote myself, which is a favorite thing to do, " I am the nicest person I know".

I am somehow butting heads with the in laws. Coming from my point of view, I am right and they are wrong. Coming from a more realistic point of view, I am sure it is more of a middle ground type of thing, but I caution on the side of reality. I am really trying to take the advice of a new e-mail friend and let some things just go, as they don't really matter, especially in the grand scheme of things.

Apparently I am the anti-christ. Funny enough, that is often not a debatable thing. The low down with a lot of 'apparently' thrown in:
~Apparently I hate my in laws .... all of them.
~Apparently I brain wash my husband to see things my way....aka, the wrong way.
~Apparently I am anti-social and won't allow people to call our house or visit - EVER.
~Apparently I don't take our daughter our to see the in laws - EVER.
~Apparently they all know this well, since they discuss it at great lengths amongst themselves.

So, after a long chat with my dear husband, which was not in our best inside voices, or at least not mine, we have decided that we need to sit the in laws down and make a few things clear.

~ I don't hate them. I just don't feel the need to be smothered by them. I don't do the family thing everyday with my own family, so I am not going to be doing it with them. I really value my down time. I grew to really appreciate being alone and love my quiet days.
~ I do not brainwash my husband. He happens to like how WE do things. Some are even his ideas.
~I prefer people to call before they come to visit. I like to present myself in a certain way, especially with my husbands family, and it is not in a tank top without a bra, yesterdays PJ's and unbrushed teeth. A quick call to see if popping over at that time works gives me 5 min to brush my teeth, throw on a sweater and joggers and hide some mess. I feel more at ease and a better visit can be had. I grew up in a household where people just stop in, ALL THE TIME and I hated it. Now and then a random visit is awesome, but I stress the now and then. As for the calling thing - how bizarre. I think this all stems from earlier boundaries set by me when we moved to this house. I had to set some rules to live in the same town as a lot of his family. Now they take it to the extreme....is that my fault?
~ We probably don't visit as much as we should, but we don't do anything as much as we should right now. We have no routine at home developed, and our evenings fly by. She is only 5 weeks old, and it is a lot to just get through the day some days, let alone appease everyone else. Give us a little time and be a little realistic of our days. If we visit one, we have to visit them all. This is at least 3-4 visits in one night or 3-4 nights. Is that a fair use of time? I know we need to make time for visits, but honestly, I need to also make time for a shower.
~I am finding out, that the in laws now discuss how I am hoarding my daughter, and not sharing well with others. Wouldn't it be grand if I lived far from both sides of the family? Then I could do as I please and everyone's feelings could be hurt equally. Instead of calling to come over or just calling to see if we could pop over there, they discuss amongst themselves how I am doing this all wrong. Thankfully every grapevine has leaks. This is where we are at now. I am trying to stop the nonsense and get to the root of issues, so I have to be the one with t he big girl panties who makes the first move.

The goal of this post was not to convince the reader I am right. I guess I just needed to see it in writing to see how things are laid out at the moment. What can I compromise on and what has to stay as is. I want to accommodate when possible and more importantly, I want others to accommodate when possible. This may not be how things are forever, it is just how things are right now.

only 11 months left of mat leave

Add in a surprise face to that title!

Where did that first month go? Every day has been Tuesday since Makenzie arrived. I have no real definition to my week except for days I have somewhere to be.

I have been busy learning what babies are and how to care for one. A steep curve that has been. With the whole new baby business, learning to breastfeed (thought it would be easier), mastering a pooped diaper, bathing a slippery baby, going without sleep or washroom breaks, it has all summed up the month I guess.

I am more comfortable going places with her now. It took a few trips to feel confident that I could manage on my own. Yesterday was a big trip to the city alone and I managed to run errands and get to all my appointments. Next week will be an added bonus....a dentist appointment and a vet appointment. It will be the 2nd time the dogs will be in the vehicle with her and the first time I have all 3 on my own. OI!

We are planning to get out into the community more as spring continues. I have looked into some swimming times and local groups for babies. Next step is attending.
I have also looked into some fitness groups in town for the return of the yummy mommy. I loved my pre-baby bod and will rejoice in its return.

last 10 lbs boot camp

don't I wish i had that show kicking my butt right now. i plateaued in my weight loss.....well I hadn't done a damn thing up until now and was just letting the weight do what it would for the first 3 weeks. I had gone for a few mild walks, but not actually for exercise, more for fresh air and to get out. with the birth and nature, I lost 28lbs in the last 3 weeks. I had gained A LOT in the end, so a quick drop of 28lbs was awesome....but now I still have 10 to go to be back at my pre baby weight. I don't actually care if I am at pre baby weight, but pre baby ass size to fit my pre baby jeans is more the goal. I fit all my cords, and yoga pants, but proper jeans are the goal. I figure boob weight accounts for something, so I am realistic that pre baby weight may be a while yet.

I went for an hour or more walk today and walked fast and hard the whole time.....and then came home and cleaned up the back yard for another 1/2 hr. I can really feel it in my legs with even walking. I had been so active pre pregnancy, then with the scare of loosing her, quit almost all activity for a while and only picked it up near the end....which added some extra chub.

I hope that a few long walks each week and starting back into yoga will help shed some thigh and ass....and possibly watching my carb intake in the evenings wouldn't hurt.....I can only blame needed calories for breast milk on so many treats.


Sleeping update: 1 night out of 5 she slept in her bassinet for part of the night.....but, she has been sleeping better even in the big bed. Less fussing when I put her down and quicker to sleep.....not the results I set out for, but still favorable.

Girl time

This past week has been all about the girl time. My husband was out of town for the week, so the baby and I had 6 days of intense bonding. I think she became slightly sucky during the week. It was easier to pick her up the moment she fussed, rather than let her be, because it would take so long to calm her down if she got worked up....and being alone, I didn't have it in me all the time to do that.....so she was in my arms the better part of the week. It was nice though, she is so cuddly and it is sweet how she loves to be snuggled into me to nap. How can that be bad?

After all my planning while pregnant, reading, studying for the final exam of parenthood, I wonder how I am doing on the test. I had great intentions that I have already broke. She sleeps in bed with us more than she should. Part of this is me being so tired at night, that I give anything for sleep....and anything happens to be sleeping in the big bed. She sleeps so much better, quicker to get to sleep and longer next to me, so I cave. I really want her in her own bed though. As much as I get more sleep, it is not quality sleep. I think I need to exchange 1 really awesome hour for 2.5 mediocre hours. My goal next week is to have her in her bassinet most of the night each night and in her bassinet all the time by the following week. Eventually she will have to move to her own room, and for sure I am not sleeping in the crib with her. Really, I am not!

I also need to sort out the separation anxiety we both have. I hate people holding her and she hates not being held. This leaves me holding her all the time. My pipes are starting to look ripped, but my sanity may also be ripping a little. Her crying breaks my heart and I am not a fan of the cry it out method. I want to believe that if she is crying, she is communicating a need. I don't want to ignore the need to try and teach a 3 week old a lesson. I want to meet her needs. I just need to find a way to meet them while she is horizontal and on her own for a short while.
The wraps have really been my lifesaver so far. She loves them and hands free baby carrying seems to be working for me as well.

labels for the sake of calling it something

I feel like I am labeled postpartum at the drop of the hat for having any emotions after the baby is born. I am not sure I am ok with this label or any other. Should a women not have any emotions after birth?
I researched this disorder before giving birth, so I would be aware of what I might expect if my hormones chose to take me there. I don't think what I am experiencing is anything close to PPMD.

Postpartum discusses a withdrawn self, who lacks interest in the baby, changes habits (really? do they not change regardless?) appetite decreases, lack of interest in self and others......and the list goes on. It is rather indicative of depression. What I am feeling is wildly different, yet labeled the same by some. I think I would be ok with a label it if was actually what I am feeling and there was some sort of help.....but perhaps the idea of a label is scarier than the truth?

My feelings have not been about keeping baby away or not wanting close contact, but the exact opposite. I want her near me 24/7. I like to keep this into perspective as well, that she is not even 2 weeks old. I do share her with her dad, and love when he takes over after work and in the evenings. I feel 100% confidence in his care giving and never question how he is handling her.....but outside the 2 of us, I hate people holding her. I am ok to pass her off for a few moments, brief moments, but then I ant her back. We had visitors last weekend, and for the 3 whole hours she slept, they passed her around and never back to me. It was torture on me. My nerves were shot when they left, I started to have nauseous feelings from it and I didn't sleep well that night. The experience was harmful to me. This is not to say no one can hold her. I am ok with someone else holding her (hands washed of course), but for a few moments at a time. I did all the hard work for 9 months, and now she is here, I feel a sense of entitlement to enjoy her for the short time she is so tiny. Am I crazy?? Do other mothers feel this way? I know in good time, I will want others to hold her, take her for a break, but for the first few weeks, I am not ok with that.....and so I am labeled. Can't this just be a sign of a really interested mom who is excited as hell her baby girl is here?

Transition complete!

Makenzie Ryann Guindon was born March 13th at 12:38 am.

We are both doing very well. We will post soon with our adventures. The first week has been great so far.....a little less sleep than I am used to, and not much accomplished other than a fed baby, but so far so good.

I showered 3 times which seems an awesome thing in itself!

week of rest and relaxation

I had my first week off work and spent it doing NOTHING!! Perhaps not nothing, but I was quite lazy. I had a small to do list, a midwife appointment, viewed a daycare and set up wiener sitters for the march break should I go into labor. This weekend is the start of 39 weeks.

The smallest signs of labor, all the 'stuff' that 'could' happen before your baby arrives keeps me up at night. There seems to be a small list of things to watch for and when those things start to happen, you are on your way. Not necessarily on your way quickly, but within the next few hours to weeks. A small window in the grand scheme of it all. It is always very hard to keep that grand scheme perspective when you are in the moment.

My midwife appointment went well. We discussed my birth plan and made sure we were both on the same page. My check up went well - blood pressure still low and the babies heartbeat still where it should be. They couldn't feel her head anymore which means she dropped even further. That is one of those small signs of labor pending.

We viewed a home daycare last night. The lady seems really nice and the place seems clean, organized. etc. Apparently you need to book these things up to a year in advance, so we are close to running out of time. One place that was recommended in town is booked until 2012 past my date back to work. That means people who are only 1/2 way through a pregnancy have secured spots - insane! We made a list of questions, which Jason was much better at asking than I was and will have to weigh out the pros and cons. I have 1 more I would like to see in town before I decide if this is the way we go. The other place is at a centre, so it will be very different. Besides all the basics, I think it will come down to a cost vs. language debate. We both really want the care to be in French, but could sway for a lower cost.

The wieners met their possible sitter last night too. They put on a show as they always do for guests. Drake tried to hump a toy which has not been done in years and Edward worked on his best irritating, high pitched cry for well over an hour until she would play constant ball with him. Lucky I am not looking for daycare for them! At least she agreed to still watch them and pop in when we need her to for a few days should I go into labor this week.

I will try for another post later in the day/weekend with the birth plan and daycare questions.

tick tick tick

the clock is ticking now. i am 38 weeks this weekend and down to the final countdown. it really could be any day now. i was so very uncomfortable last night trying to sleep and my bladder is so compressed that i was up about 8 times to pee. each time i got up, i silently hoped that labor would start so I could just stop peeing.

my husband has put in the request to the baby that she wait for wednesday as he is tied up before then. wednesday or thursday would be ideal for me really. the timing of it works out perfectly.

my time at work wrapped up well. my co-workers took me out for lunch on thursday to my fav restaurant. it was nice to see all the support as close to 30 of them were able to come. they also spoiled the baby with tons of great presents. this baby has more clothes and cool stuff than i know what to do with.

my mom's side of the family always plans their shower for after the baby is born. i am used to their system, and understand that this is their way of seeing the baby, but it makes it tough to register when you need a bunch of stuff for her arrival. hopefully we avoided buying too much of the big stuff and saved it for them. my dad's side is having the same type of shower this time, except when she is 4 months old. they are going to take the educational route i am sure and fill up her book shelf. i am excited she has so much support before she has even arrived.

i have been told by SO MANY PEOPLE to spend the next 2 weeks resting, doing nothing and sleeping. i am going to be so happy when people stop giving advice.....does that happen? although i appreciate the wisdom, let it be known that i never sleep. these 2 weeks will not result in better sleep. let it also be known that it is impossible for me to do nothing. i cannot veg in front of the tv all day for days on end. i may avoid a major project, but i will be doing something. and finally, let it be known that resting is easier said that done right now. the fact that i am not working, my mind is at ease, my husband is home, and i am prepared for the baby to arrive is restful in itself. i think i will just go about my days until she arrives as they unfold. i may venture out, i may nap, i may take on a few creative projects....knowing i am making my soul restful before her arrival.

last week of work

Hello last week.....I have waited for you for some time now and you have finally arrived!!

Every step forward is a step closer to this baby arriving. I was 37 weeks this weekend. Technically 3 to go. I wonder if babies live by technical standards?? I saw my midwife last Wednesday and she gave the impression I may go early. I have always thought that or secretly hoped for it. At each visit she checks the baby by feeling my stomach and is able to feel where the head is, back and feet to have a perfect idea of where the baby is positioned. She also measures me to see how many inches I am and checks the heart beat and my blood pressure. This is all tracked and I have been sitting on a great curve throughout. This past appointment she rechecked everything as I was out of the normal. The head had dropped a lot, and was sitting where it would at 38 weeks ( I was 36.3), my blood pressure was slightly lower than normal and my stomach had not adjusted.
I have been feeling a lot of pressure in my groin the last week or so and can feel how much she has dropped. I have also had more intense braxton hicks the last few weeks. I have been having this very slightly for months, but the last few weeks have been intense and more noticeable. I have always had the idea she will come on the 10th, so only time will tell. I see my midwife again tomorrow for another quick check up. I don't think much has changed in 5 days, but you never know.

I need a few more days at work to pass things over, but then I am happy with any day she is ready. It would be nice to have at least one Monday to sleep in and not go to work, but I can deal with a sweet new baby as well.

seems soon to call it a wrap!

I had my last doula appointment yesterday. It seems too early to be wrapping up the loose ends before labor. We went over the final birth plan and discussed all the details for my wishes the day of. I signed off on the paperwork for her to be apart of my delivery and discussed how the actual "main event" will go down. With the way the world works, it is not a 100% guarantee she will be there, so my husband and I still have our homework to finish. Pending a cold, or life itself, we may have to be the support each other needs. I don't doubt we would be fine, but I like to be prepared. My normal way of prepping for any real test is cramming, and not knowing the test date makes it near impossible. I have been forced to study a little at a time, all the time.

My birth plan is finished, positions have been discussed, the addition of my giant yoga ball has been added to the hospital bags, and massage techniques are on the table to try out over the next few weeks. I am down to the increased use of positive affirmations to mentally prepare my self. The soul and body and well prepared, now the mind is on its last lap.

I think I will miss the reading I have been doing after the baby is here. I have spent months and months filling myself with every opinion out there, gaining a very vast knowledge on my options for birth. I went to bed last night, happy again that I am not going the doctor route for this pregnancy. I always shine a lot brighter when I have choices and options.

Cheers to the start of 36 weeks.

*** although I missed a few blogs the last while, I have been 100% baby focused. Having my husband home has been the worlds greatest treat. I have been taking full advantage of our couple time together and enjoying the last weeks of just us.

baby daddy

My husband is finally home, which is why I missed my usual weekend post.

It has been a whirlwind catch up of a million baby things in order to have us both feel prepared. As much as we talked about things everyday and we shared over skype, I forget he missed out on most baby items coming into this house and therefore has not had time to adjust to how it works and where it all lives.

Overwhelmed with passing over our house, storage space, and time to someone who is not even here yet, we made a to do list to help organize the chaos. Our list is a good start to ensure things get done and a possible prioritizing of a few of them will make sleep easier at night.

TO Do before the little girl arrives:
- pack hospital bag ....seems easy enough, and there are list everywhere, but it has been a work in progress for 3 weeks now.
- tour the hospital...again, just a stop in when we drive by, and we drive by every time we go to town, but no time seems like a good time. I had toured it before it opened, but my husband hasn't been in yet and needs the comfort level before we go for the big event.
- wash the cloth diapers....again, it is just a load of laundry, but the hot water needs to be turned on to the washer and that job seems to be staling this job.
- install car seat base in vehicles.....I think we are both unsure how to do it all perfectly, so we are hesitant.
- sign up for EI....apparently there is a lot of paperwork behind having a child, especially if you want to be paid while off.
- check into a Dr. and daycare.....ALREADY? apparently yes....and worse than yes, the daycare may trump the Dr. in priority as they are harder to get into. Imagine signing someone up who doesn't exist yet for daycare they won't use for more than a year from now - bizarraro world!

babies born in 2011 will never know

will my little girl know things from this list?? The link takes you to the same list I have below and describes why babies born in 2011 will never use or know these items. I am going to give my feedback on where my baby may stand on these things.

http://finance.yahoo.com/family-home/article/111745/things-babies-born-in-2011-will-never-know?mod=family-kids_parents

Video tape: MAYBE> probably will never watch one. we have some old footage of J's on VHS, so perhaps.

Travel agents: NO> i am going to guess this will not be of use to her. we book everything online ourselves.

The separation of work and home: NO> i wish she never had to see these fuse. i hate that i fuse them and don't need to. i do want to start to limit my screen/tech time when she is born, therefore reducing her exposure.

Books, magazines, and newspapers: YES> I love books, magazines and newspapers in their print versions. I know the e-version is on the rise, but I already have a lot of books for her and could not imagine bedtime stories over a tech tool.

Movie rental stores: YES> we live in a small town and will eventually rent a movie. we don't rent much now, but we also don't watch a lot of movies.

Watches: YES> I know I fell slave to the cell tonight and used it as a watch, but I still like my watches as a piece of jewelry and her Dad loves his watch collection, so that love will be passed down.

Paper maps: NO> and an unfortunate no. We have GPS in both vehicles now so it will probably never come up to buy a map.

Wired phones: YES> I love technology advancements for unwired phones, but we have an oldie in the basement in case of a power outage....ya we have cells, but family and friends call our land line.

Long distance: NO> and thank goodness for this no. We switched to LD over the internet and will never look back. as much as I want to reduce my technology use, I am 100% more in love with saving money through skype than paying a big bill.

Newspaper classifieds: NO> we shop our classifieds online....damn technology.

Dial-up Internet: MAYBE> my mom still has dial up....or did, she may be less tech than the norm. regardless, her only option is still dial up and she lives in a well populated area of Ontario, just in the country side.

Encyclopedias: NO> researching in this way seems long ago for even me.

Forgotten friends: YES> even though facebook seems all important today, it may not be in 10 years when she explores the social medias. everyone has these people.

Forgotten anything else: YES> but retrieved quickly via google searches. we do not have internet on our cells, and I don't want to, so I am happy that when we are out of the house we are off the grid.

The evening news: NO> I get all my news when I have time to read it from the website. I can't commit myself to tv at a specific time each day. I do think she will be very knowledgeable on current events as her dad and I both share an interest in world issues.

CDs: YES> and vinyl. her dad is a music buff to the core. she will know music and its history better than anyone her age. I am sure she will have a vast knowledge of albums.

Film cameras: NO> this is a little sad, but film is just not going to be available to share. I do hope she knows printed pictures though. Since I have gone digital, I never print pictures. I like albums and think they are something worth keeping up.

Yellow and White Pages: NO> not in printed form anyways.

Catalogs: YES> I am sure she will flip the pages of the wishbook a few times before it becomes a web based catalog

Fax machines: MAYBE> we have one in our house....well a printer/scanner/copier/fax machine.... and it works well, so it may not be replaced anytime soon.

One picture to a frame: YES> and in many formats. We do love frames and putting up pictures, so she will be added into the art show at the house. We also have her grandparents old home movies on reels with a reel projector. I have yet to watch them, but it will happen and she will be there.

Wires: YES> as great as technology is, it all needs to be charged.

Hand-written letters: YES> I am a sucker for great note cards and greeting cards. I send them at random to friends and family. I will pass this on to her.

Talking to one person at a time: YES> this referred to texting and we don't do that a lot in this house....so she will grow up without the skill until she learns it on her own.

Retirement plans: YES> her dad is very financially aware and a planner for the future. We are putting together an account for her education fund when she is born, and I think this will be a building block to her own financial planning.

Mail: YES> as long as i keep the same friends and family, she will know mail. Perhaps not bills, as they go electronic, but birthday cards, random notes and small tokens will be something she will discover with the circle she is born into.

Commercials on TV: YES> although I do intend to limit tv as much as possible. I hate how much I watched as a kid, and I hate how fused kids become to a tv. there is a time and place and I will try to moderate....but when it happens, we don't pre record anything, so she will have commercials.

Commercial music radio: YES> and I hope I am correct in this. we currently listen to the small town local station on the kitchen radio and I don't want to see that change. I like the local info. I also have my alarm set to the same station in the morning.

Hiding: YES> I am a master at avoiding people when I need down time and space and this is a great skill to pass on. It is good to go off the radar now and then.

I am happy o say there are a lot more in the YES category than the NO. Some of these things, are things near and dear to our family and we are not ready to let go of them yet, therefore expose will happen.

one of the coolest gifts

I thought I would share one of the coolest gifts I got as an expecting mom in case people ever want to replicate this idea.

Part way through the pregnancy I received a gift from my husband's aunt, which turned out to be right up my alley. She bought me a stack of pregnancy magazines. This can be a fairly simple gift to give, yet perhaps costly, but an easy find. The magazines were a very wide variety from popular culture based pregnancy magazines to very holistic/organic styles. Each one was filled with information on being pregnant, having a new born or raising children. It was nice to have a variety of view points, quick reads and plenty of links to new websites and products. The stories from moms on what i am going through were also comforting.

I love to read, I love magazines, and I love a variety of viewpoints on a new subject, so this was a great gift for me. I have re-read several of them over the months. As this pregnancy changes, so does the information I take away from these articles.

There was one particular one that looked at cloth diapers, breastfeeding, natural birthing and featured a lot of great sites on organic products that I may grab a 1 yr subscription to. I know people say you will have no time once the baby is here, but I plan to read to her at night, and she may like me reading magazines of my own interest.

8 months on the dot

8 months if we go based on simple math of 32 weeks along, which I am, so 8 months it is.

I start 32 weeks today! another milestone!! I made it through another month!!!
I am still celebrating the small victories as the rough start to this pregnancy has never left my mind for a moment. Every small new movement, change in my body, new piece to the pregnancy puzzle has me frantic until I know it is normal and ok. A strangle loop hole I am finding with pregnancy is anything seems to be normal.

I met with my midwife last week. We discussed leg cramps, shin splints and the small issue that I was worried I ruined the baby. A strong heart beat and kicks means she is just fine, although I still have a solid fear that I deformed her. When I was out of town for work, I sat up in the middle of the night. I normally roll out of bed now, so sitting straight up was new for my body right now and my pelvic bone hit her head. My immediate fear is she would look like Sloth from the Goonies. Apparently this sort of thing can happen, as everything is all normal in pregnancy.

To celebrate week 32 I have a massaged booked for Wednesday. :) My hips and pelvis have been very sore the past week due to muscles and ligaments relaxing and letting go. Things seem to be moving around and bone rotation is hard to get used to. Hopefully a massage puts it all back in place.

31!

I had higher hopes that I would get in another post this week, but I was out of town and it just didn't happen. I fear this week may be similar as I have a very heavy schedule and it is supposed to snow, so shoveling will eat up my evenings.

I will go over the quick updates of week 30.

> leg cramps and shin splints have come for a visit. I partly think they are from all the driving I did this week for work and the long hours in a car. I am hoping they were a short lived item.

> my iron level is still LOW. It was recorded low mid pregnancy and I started on some supplements, but it has not gone up after almost 3 months. Now I am doubling the iron intake. I feel like a junky with all the pills I am taking, yet they are all vitamins or minerals, so it could be worse. I just have to get the timing of them all down. I have now switched the prenatal to breakfast as it has to be with food, the first iron to morning break as it has to be 3-4 hours after calcium intake (breakfast) and with vitamin C (fruit for a snack), then again at bedtime with my regular vitamin C and D pills. I am not a pill person, so this is all difficult to swallow!

> I picked away at the baby list this weekend. I am down to a few items left that I need/want in the house before she arrives. I also found some great deals through kijiji on clothes, so I am set until she is 40 by the looks of her closet.

> I started to pack the hospital bag. I have a checklist going for that as well. I know it is early, but I need some control and this makes me feel like I have some. With all this prep, I will probably be somewhere else when I go into labor and not have access to the thoughtfully packed bag.

> I borrowed the book "birthing from within" from my midwife as I am determined to have knowledge on all options before I pick mine. This is a very hippie book, even for me. There are a lot of methods which focus on drawing the pain on paper and focusing on images for strength. I draw stickmen at best and don't feel this method is for me.....but until I get through more of the book, I will hold off on full dismissal.

My goal next weekend is to get a double post out. A weekly update and something from my blog list of interesting baby stuff with my own opinion sliced in.

welcome to your 30's!

Today starts off week 30...and a slap in the face of reality....I am actually having a baby - what the hell.
I am now rationalizing the when.....technically 10 weeks left, but there have been discrepancies with my first ultrasounds and last menstrual period and even forget those 2 technologies, but another discrepancy with when I actually had sex, which I still believe is more accurate than the other 2.

So, according to my midwife, I am due March 20th, which I changed to the 19th for astrology reasons. According to the hospital I am due March 10th, and according to me, it is somewhere closer to the 14th, but have my heart (which plays no real role and is just for fun) set on the 17th.

Back to technicalities....I technically have 10 weeks left to hit the 40 week mark (March 19th), but know that this chick is fully cooked at 37 weeks (Feb 27th)....and then have been told that 7 out of 10 births are late, so maybe it is past the 20th??
I could use a psychic for this. I am a planner. I like to know the how and the when for things.

If I wasn't set on my birth wish list at this point, I could totally see the benefit in a planned c-section. Set the date - the end.


In other baby news, sleep has been a battle and a half. Besides being waken up by my sweet dog throughout the night, I am itchy, uncomfortable, hot, cold, not tired, over tired, napped too much, didn't do enough and the list goes on. I am also always exhausted which makes sleep such a high commodity right now. Come on sandman!!!