I feel like I am labeled postpartum at the drop of the hat for having any emotions after the baby is born. I am not sure I am ok with this label or any other. Should a women not have any emotions after birth?
I researched this disorder before giving birth, so I would be aware of what I might expect if my hormones chose to take me there. I don't think what I am experiencing is anything close to PPMD.
Postpartum discusses a withdrawn self, who lacks interest in the baby, changes habits (really? do they not change regardless?) appetite decreases, lack of interest in self and others......and the list goes on. It is rather indicative of depression. What I am feeling is wildly different, yet labeled the same by some. I think I would be ok with a label it if was actually what I am feeling and there was some sort of help.....but perhaps the idea of a label is scarier than the truth?
My feelings have not been about keeping baby away or not wanting close contact, but the exact opposite. I want her near me 24/7. I like to keep this into perspective as well, that she is not even 2 weeks old. I do share her with her dad, and love when he takes over after work and in the evenings. I feel 100% confidence in his care giving and never question how he is handling her.....but outside the 2 of us, I hate people holding her. I am ok to pass her off for a few moments, brief moments, but then I ant her back. We had visitors last weekend, and for the 3 whole hours she slept, they passed her around and never back to me. It was torture on me. My nerves were shot when they left, I started to have nauseous feelings from it and I didn't sleep well that night. The experience was harmful to me. This is not to say no one can hold her. I am ok with someone else holding her (hands washed of course), but for a few moments at a time. I did all the hard work for 9 months, and now she is here, I feel a sense of entitlement to enjoy her for the short time she is so tiny. Am I crazy?? Do other mothers feel this way? I know in good time, I will want others to hold her, take her for a break, but for the first few weeks, I am not ok with that.....and so I am labeled. Can't this just be a sign of a really interested mom who is excited as hell her baby girl is here?
3 comments:
I hope you don't mind that I showed this post to my work spouse, who has a two-year old, since I don't feel that I could offer much input. She says she felt much like you when her baby was born. She slept with her baby for six months.
Also, work spouse has demanded that I provide you with her email in case you need a new mom contact.
you felt secure when mom held her though, right?!?!
haha Pete.
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