Tuesday, April 19, 2011

I like to think it is not me

I often like to think that it is not me when things are not well between people. If it is me, then I have to change to correct the issue, and I am not a fan of change. Therefore, I tend to think it is not me, but the other person, therefore the change can be on their end....and more importantly, things will be my way. It is a blissful rose coloured world I like to live in. To quote myself, which is a favorite thing to do, " I am the nicest person I know".

I am somehow butting heads with the in laws. Coming from my point of view, I am right and they are wrong. Coming from a more realistic point of view, I am sure it is more of a middle ground type of thing, but I caution on the side of reality. I am really trying to take the advice of a new e-mail friend and let some things just go, as they don't really matter, especially in the grand scheme of things.

Apparently I am the anti-christ. Funny enough, that is often not a debatable thing. The low down with a lot of 'apparently' thrown in:
~Apparently I hate my in laws .... all of them.
~Apparently I brain wash my husband to see things my way....aka, the wrong way.
~Apparently I am anti-social and won't allow people to call our house or visit - EVER.
~Apparently I don't take our daughter our to see the in laws - EVER.
~Apparently they all know this well, since they discuss it at great lengths amongst themselves.

So, after a long chat with my dear husband, which was not in our best inside voices, or at least not mine, we have decided that we need to sit the in laws down and make a few things clear.

~ I don't hate them. I just don't feel the need to be smothered by them. I don't do the family thing everyday with my own family, so I am not going to be doing it with them. I really value my down time. I grew to really appreciate being alone and love my quiet days.
~ I do not brainwash my husband. He happens to like how WE do things. Some are even his ideas.
~I prefer people to call before they come to visit. I like to present myself in a certain way, especially with my husbands family, and it is not in a tank top without a bra, yesterdays PJ's and unbrushed teeth. A quick call to see if popping over at that time works gives me 5 min to brush my teeth, throw on a sweater and joggers and hide some mess. I feel more at ease and a better visit can be had. I grew up in a household where people just stop in, ALL THE TIME and I hated it. Now and then a random visit is awesome, but I stress the now and then. As for the calling thing - how bizarre. I think this all stems from earlier boundaries set by me when we moved to this house. I had to set some rules to live in the same town as a lot of his family. Now they take it to the extreme....is that my fault?
~ We probably don't visit as much as we should, but we don't do anything as much as we should right now. We have no routine at home developed, and our evenings fly by. She is only 5 weeks old, and it is a lot to just get through the day some days, let alone appease everyone else. Give us a little time and be a little realistic of our days. If we visit one, we have to visit them all. This is at least 3-4 visits in one night or 3-4 nights. Is that a fair use of time? I know we need to make time for visits, but honestly, I need to also make time for a shower.
~I am finding out, that the in laws now discuss how I am hoarding my daughter, and not sharing well with others. Wouldn't it be grand if I lived far from both sides of the family? Then I could do as I please and everyone's feelings could be hurt equally. Instead of calling to come over or just calling to see if we could pop over there, they discuss amongst themselves how I am doing this all wrong. Thankfully every grapevine has leaks. This is where we are at now. I am trying to stop the nonsense and get to the root of issues, so I have to be the one with t he big girl panties who makes the first move.

The goal of this post was not to convince the reader I am right. I guess I just needed to see it in writing to see how things are laid out at the moment. What can I compromise on and what has to stay as is. I want to accommodate when possible and more importantly, I want others to accommodate when possible. This may not be how things are forever, it is just how things are right now.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

only 11 months left of mat leave

Add in a surprise face to that title!

Where did that first month go? Every day has been Tuesday since Makenzie arrived. I have no real definition to my week except for days I have somewhere to be.

I have been busy learning what babies are and how to care for one. A steep curve that has been. With the whole new baby business, learning to breastfeed (thought it would be easier), mastering a pooped diaper, bathing a slippery baby, going without sleep or washroom breaks, it has all summed up the month I guess.

I am more comfortable going places with her now. It took a few trips to feel confident that I could manage on my own. Yesterday was a big trip to the city alone and I managed to run errands and get to all my appointments. Next week will be an added bonus....a dentist appointment and a vet appointment. It will be the 2nd time the dogs will be in the vehicle with her and the first time I have all 3 on my own. OI!

We are planning to get out into the community more as spring continues. I have looked into some swimming times and local groups for babies. Next step is attending.
I have also looked into some fitness groups in town for the return of the yummy mommy. I loved my pre-baby bod and will rejoice in its return.

Friday, April 8, 2011

last 10 lbs boot camp

don't I wish i had that show kicking my butt right now. i plateaued in my weight loss.....well I hadn't done a damn thing up until now and was just letting the weight do what it would for the first 3 weeks. I had gone for a few mild walks, but not actually for exercise, more for fresh air and to get out. with the birth and nature, I lost 28lbs in the last 3 weeks. I had gained A LOT in the end, so a quick drop of 28lbs was awesome....but now I still have 10 to go to be back at my pre baby weight. I don't actually care if I am at pre baby weight, but pre baby ass size to fit my pre baby jeans is more the goal. I fit all my cords, and yoga pants, but proper jeans are the goal. I figure boob weight accounts for something, so I am realistic that pre baby weight may be a while yet.

I went for an hour or more walk today and walked fast and hard the whole time.....and then came home and cleaned up the back yard for another 1/2 hr. I can really feel it in my legs with even walking. I had been so active pre pregnancy, then with the scare of loosing her, quit almost all activity for a while and only picked it up near the end....which added some extra chub.

I hope that a few long walks each week and starting back into yoga will help shed some thigh and ass....and possibly watching my carb intake in the evenings wouldn't hurt.....I can only blame needed calories for breast milk on so many treats.


Sleeping update: 1 night out of 5 she slept in her bassinet for part of the night.....but, she has been sleeping better even in the big bed. Less fussing when I put her down and quicker to sleep.....not the results I set out for, but still favorable.