Thursday, February 9, 2012

tempertantrums

This post is 100% about my own....the babe is a doll.

I DON'T WANT TO GO BACK TO WORK!!

BLA!!

I have neglected this blog and my intentions were to keep really up to date with this one so I could see how my doll have grown, but man it has been hard. She is on the move and demanding of attention, which I happily give to her, but therefore not doing anything else. We also got rid of the laptops in favor of the desktop and that has really halted a lot of computer time. The lowered screen time is for the better, it was intentionally reduced, but I do miss it sometimes. Change is tough.

So the little princess is off to daycare next month and I am devastated. It will break my heart to send her and I spent a lot of time picking this place, sort of. Everyone says it will be harder for me than it will be for her, like that makes it better. I don't care for things to be hard on either of us if I am able to choose. We have miles to go before I feel she will be ready to be on her own, and unfortunately, we do not have miles left in our journey. I rack my brain to think about how things could have been done differently or were they done perfectly and transitions will always be hard?!? I don't know.
I know there will be moments, probably a lot of them at first where she needs me and I won't be there and that bothers me. I hate for her to think I am not there to meet her needs. It is worse to think she will adjust and then not need me. I equally hate the idea that I can be phased out.

She is 11 months next Monday. She crawls easily, walks with support, tries to walk without for a few steps, eats like a trooper, still nurses, smiles, waves, claps, plays peek-a-boo that she initiates, laughs, plays tricks, blows raspberries, shows sincere affection and gives the best hugs. She is brilliant and independent, yet still loves to cuddle for stories. She wants to help with everything and likes real jobs, not fake ones. She can already tell the difference.

1 comment:

pete ryan said...

man, i do NOT envy your transition. Im sure like most things, its mostly hard due to fear - once you see that very little has really changed, you'll be fine.